Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize