$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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