addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
