Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
