I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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