Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
