i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
At least life still wants to fuck me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
