Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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