it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
