I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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