holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
