i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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