Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize