Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
