There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
