I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
