we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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