I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
