i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
