He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
