I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
