I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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