HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
