the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
