We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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