omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
