This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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