i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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