Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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