I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
