It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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