I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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