You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dicks are not precious.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
