you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize