Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
