Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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