then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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