so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
two words...techno handjob
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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