we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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