I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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