Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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