Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
