Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
