I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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