I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
