i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
