I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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