I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
