So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
