very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize