Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
