roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
