5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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