Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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