remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
