I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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